I found this on the UK Daily mail site. It made me start thinking. If there were one question I get asked over and over, it is about what to do if your child doesn't want to go over to the other divorced parent's house. Sometimes a separated child doesn't want to visit. Sometimes they refuse to visit. The reason this note made me think about it is because kids are just so open and honest, that is if you let them be. Sometimes they will talk, others they might write it out like this child did, but they really do want you to know that they know a lot about what is going on. If there is some reason to really be concerned that there might be danger, then of course it is time to call in some professional help. I'm not addressing those kinds of situations. But usually there is something much smaller behind it. There are a few things I would recommend.
1) Talk to your kids. If you can't just directly ask them why they don't want to go, or they refuse to answer, use a tool like "We're Having A Tuesday" where there are pages to talk about what they like and miss about both parents. If you can get them to remembering the things they like about going to the other house you might be able to get them to let go and decide to go.
2)Ask them if they might be willing to go over just for a short period of time. Maybe that is just one hour, or one day of the entire weekend. Often times getting them to go over for a short time will cause whatever the issue was to be forgotten about once they get there.
3)Talk to them as best as you can about why they don't want to go. It often has nothing to do with the other parent. It might have to do with missing an activity with friends, or a favorite program, or an event. Then maybe you can figure out how to work around that kind of situation, or maybe decide that this is a fluke and not a big deal. You may want to consider letting them stay that one time if it works for you.
4)If they don't want to go over, you may be able to talk with your ex and see if he or she would be willing to come spend some time with your child at your house. We all have days and times where we just don't feel like going out. Maybe it has nothing to do with not seeing their other parent, maybe it just has to do with wanting to be in some familiar surroundings.
5)If you can manage, maybe it would be a good time to spend some "family" time together. Maybe you all go out for pizza or to the park or something. This sends a message to your child that their other parent is ok to spend time with, and it sends a message to your ex that though there seems to be an issue, that you are trying to work with them. There is nothing worse than having an ex that is certain you are trying to sabotage a relationship.
If none of these things work, just try to keep working through it without making your ex spouse into a bad person. It isn't easy to cope with a shared custody situation, especially for the kids. If it goes on for very long, it may be time for some professional help to see why your child is struggling.