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DK Says.......

August 31, 2007
Back to School
Oh my gosh, I thought transitioning between two households was a chore when my kids were in elementary school.  Now I have one in elementary and one in middle school.  Suddenly things just got more complicated.  There are so many more issues in middle school.  "When can I wear makeup?"  "I really want those shoes?" "But my friends are all walking home, why do you have to pick me up?"  Not only do I have the issues of leaving those ever important items (the special shampoo that is now required) at the other house, I have the issues of how to approach some of these big subjects with a person who I co-parent with, but don't necessarily see eye to eye with.  So far, I've tackled the easy ones.  I just bought two special combs and special bottles of shampoo.  I didn't see any reason to have any of us battling over shampoo.  It's easier to keep the peace.  I'm waiting now for the walking home from school one.  From the beginning of time, kids have asked one parent to do something, and if they don't like the answer they ask the other.  Also from the beginning of time, that has been a big no,no.  Now of course these things come up, and I'm not married to the other parent.  Is it still a no-no?  Which of us is the deciding factor?  Will it be no at my house and yes at his?  Or will she still get into trouble for getting a no here and approaching her Dad anyway.  I like that idea, just because we are divorced doesn't mean she should be able to go get a different answer from her other parent.  Stay tuned..........as I think I'll discuss that with my ex at first opportunity.

August 12, 2007
Double Standard for Dating
So I'm recently back out in the dating scene.  I'd been in a 4+ year long distance relationship prior to this.  So my kids have known me to have a boyfriend, but he did not interfere much with our daily lives.  Now, I even talk about dating and they get a bit possessive.  Yet whenever their Dad dates, they just seem to go with the flow.  If I mention it, they want to know why and who.  It seems they have this entire little checklist going on.  My son wants a "handyman".  Maybe he's tired of helping with the projects around the house???  My daughter, well she would just assume I keep my dating to myself.  Hmmm.  Still trying to figure out why it's so acceptable for Dad to be dating and not Mom.  Oh well, I guess in the coming weeks and months they will get used to the idea that mom has a life too!

August 3, 2007
Where is my swimsuit?
Sometimes I don't think it's just the kids that suffer with the split-family living style.  Often I think it's the parents.  I'm sure you've all received that call.  You know the one.  When you are sitting down to dinner with a friend and the child on the other end needs to have that swimsuit RIGHT NOW!  I say, my gosh, you have four swimsuits, why on earth would you not have one at your Dad's house?  "Simple........because the last 2 swim practices I left from Dad's and you picked me up and I was wearing my swimsuit so now they are at your house."  Yeah right.  Simple.  So no matter how hard we try to make sure things get back to the right house it seems inevidable that things just go over to the other house.  Now I know some familes that keep all the clothes and such at one house and then the kids "pack" to go over to the other parent.  I didn't think that packing sent a very good message.  I felt it sent the message that they were packing for a visit.  I suppose if you are doing a every other weekend arrangement that makes sense.  But if you are doing a true split week or evey other week scenario, then I think it somehow puts one parent's living circumstance in a more primary role.  We didn't want that.  Hence, I guess I'll get the calls.  Most of the time I go, without even a fight, as my kids did not choose this situation.  We did. 


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